So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
