No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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