Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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