Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
