but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
