like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
