just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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