You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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