I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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