just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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