Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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