Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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