Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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