when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
