Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
