you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
