**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
