can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
