i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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