Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
