I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
