don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
