Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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