Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
