So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
