It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
smell my finger.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
