Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize