I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love you.
Bad choice
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