Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
