nut hugger
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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