Sponge bath it is.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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