Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You smell like stripper and shame
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
