is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i will never coherently bang her
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
