if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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