his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
