what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
