I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
