Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you win again, gameday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
