Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
