It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
