so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I didn't notice because vodka
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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