Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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