OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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