I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
