The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
