i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
