Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize