hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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