i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
"it" just moved
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
