Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
