How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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