Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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