It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
