My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
