I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
