I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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