This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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