Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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