And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
