the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
